People come to matchmaking for a lot of reasons. Some are genuinely ready. Some think they are and aren't. Some aren't sure.
Here's an honest guide to figuring out which category you're in.
Signs You're Ready
You know what you want even if you can't perfectly articulate it.
You don't need a detailed checklist. But you should have a general sense of the kind of person and relationship you're looking for.
You're done with apps, but not done with dating.
This is one of the most common profiles of a great matchmaking client. You've tried the apps, they haven't worked the way you hoped, and you're ready for a different approach.
You're willing to meet people who don't fit your mental image.
The matchmaker is seeing things you're not seeing. If you can commit to staying genuinely open on introductions, you'll get significantly more out of the process.
You can handle honest feedback.
Good matchmaking includes coaching. After dates, a matchmaker will ask what worked and what didn't, and sometimes that conversation will include gentle feedback about your own patterns or approach.
You're ready to invest in time, energy and money.
Matchmaking takes longer than most people expect, and it requires your active participation throughout.
Signs You Might Not Be Ready Yet
You're still processing a recent loss or heartbreak.
If you're still grieving a relationship that ended in the last six months to a year, you may not yet have the emotional availability that good matchmaking requires.
You're looking for a guarantee.
No ethical matchmaker can promise you a specific outcome. If you need certainty before you can invest, matchmaking might not be the right fit right now.
You want someone else to do all the work.
A matchmaker does the searching, vetting and facilitating. But you still have to show up for dates, give feedback and engage with the process.
You have a very rigid, specific list of physical requirements.
A short list of genuine non-negotiables is fine and expected. But if your criteria are so narrow that almost no one could realistically meet them, the search becomes very difficult.
The Middle Ground
Most people are somewhere in the middle. Mostly ready, with a few things to think through. That's exactly what a free consultation is for. In thirty minutes, we can usually figure out together whether this is the right time and the right fit.
If you're not ready yet, I'll tell you that, and I'll have a suggestion for what might serve you better right now. If you are ready, we'll talk about what the process would look like specifically for you.
Either way, you'll leave with more clarity than you came in with.
Book a free 30-minute consultation →
Eryn is a certified matchmaker and the founder of Meet Cute Club, a Richmond, VA-based matchmaking, dating strategy and singles events company.
